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scar_head and the_ferret

scar_head and the_ferret
Title scar_head and the_ferret
Author Quill Lumos
Summary May 2007 and Six Apart completely lose the plot. They start deleting Journals for no reason whatsoever. pornish_pixies is an innocent bystander in all this madness Harry Potter feels that he has to do whatever he can to help but gets distracted by a certain blond
DisclaimerI do not own anything Harry Potter, related nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. It all belongs to JK Rowling. Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Inc., Warner Brothers and any other entity involved.
Genre Porn obviously and humour
Warnings. Chair Sex
Rating NC17


This is another fic that I have posted on my LJ I am posting it again here because I am posting a follow up fic for the

Bring Back the Porn Challenge



Many thanks to Cyndie slashpuppy for betaing



scar_head and the_ferret





scar_head and the_ferret


“Oh fuck it!” Harry bellowed, hitting the keys on the keyboard petulantly with a flat hand. “I don’t bloody believe it!”

“What’s wrong now, Potter?” Draco drawled sidling into the study and draping an arm nonchalantly over Harry’s shoulder. A naked arm.

He leaned forward over the back of the rather battered office chair to whisper in Harry’s ear, “What’re you doing?”

Harry tried to concentrate on the screen and not on his lover.

“It’s terrible!” he complained. “Journals are disappearing all over the place; they’re calling it ‘the Strikethrough of 2007.’ I’ve just found out that pornish_pixies has gone. They’ve deleted it! Damn! How could they? Pornish Pixies was, well, one of the best LJ’s on the Internet. If you wanted a quick sexy porn hit, that is. Something impossibly hot and very well written.”

Harry bit his lip.

He wasn’t sure what to do and he had to do something. He didn’t cope well with inaction. When he’d had to defeat Voldie, there had just been a pitched battle and it was all over – but this was impossible! There was no one to fight. Harry hated things that weren’t clear-cut. Evil wizards he could deal with. Faceless organisations that seemed accountable to nobody… that was a whole different story. But how could he just stand by and watch the rights of individuals trampled because of a few whack jobs. Yeah, he could understand the crackdown on certain users. But fandom? That was by adults for adults, children not welcome in this particular playground.

Okay, so he had joined fandom_counts. But what else could he do?

“Harry!” Draco wheedled. “Come on, Harry… I’m bored. I need a quick porn hit myself!” He leaned over the chair and was nuzzling Harry’s shirt collar. Nibbling the side of his neck.

Harry shuddered. It felt delectable.

“What have they done to the poor little pixies, Harry?” Draco murmured through a mouth full of neck. “Are you going to save them, my brave Gryffindor?”

Harry had forgotten what he was doing, what he had been thinking about. The incredible sensations that ran through his body when Draco did this, when he kissed and nibbled and licked his Gryffindor lover like this, often caused Harry to forgot the thread of what he was thinking or doing or saying. He knew full well this was how Draco manipulated him, how he got his way, but he really didn’t care. It was just so delicious. Harry was putty in the hands of an expert as the blond Slytherin continued to work on Harry’s neck, and when a smooth, warm hand slid beneath Harry’s shirt and squeezed his nipple…

“Guh!” was the all he manage to gurgle in response to his lover’s ministrations.

Draco chortled wickedly, low in his throat. It was a delicious sound and it travelled straight to Harry’s cock. The tight jeans, which Draco had chosen for Harry specifically, so he said, to emphasise his arse, had suddenly become a lot tighter.

“This is such a ratty old chair, Harry!” Draco whined as he tweaked Harry’s other nipple. “I don’t know why you insist on keeping it when we could get something far nicer from that Italian place.”

“I like the chair, Draco.” Harry’s intent was firm but his eyes were closed and his voice wobbly.

Draco stopped kissing Harry’s neck and moved round to face the old leather swivel seat in which Harry was sitting, in which he always sat when he spent time at his computer. That’s when Harry saw that it wasn’t only Draco’s arm that was naked. Draco was wearing nothing but a come hither smile and a hint of aftershave.

Harry’s lover sat himself on the beech computer desk and continued to snog him, working his way up Harry’s neck whereupon he sucked and nibbled with neat white teeth along Harry’s jaw line and up over his chin until he reached lips plump with desire. He pushed his sweet tongue into Harry’s mouth and Harry did not refuse him; instead, he opened wide allowing Draco to have his way.

The computer beeped.

Harry ignored it.

The computer beeped again. More urgently this time, or so it seemed to Harry’s lust ridden brain.

He tore himself away from Draco’s scrumptious kisses in order to see what was wrong.

Draco was sitting on the keyboard, the bare cheek of his gorgeous bottom had somehow managed to press down several keys at once and the task manager was persistently trying to get Harry to close things down.

“Umndracoug,” he muttered with his mouth full of insistent tongue.

“Yes?” Draco said, sucking Harry’s lower lip.

“Compuerisplayinup.”

Draco sat back and looked at him. “What?” he asked.

Then he looked down at the desk on which he was perched. He put a hand under his left arse cheek and pulled the mouse out by its connecting cable.

“Ooh, Harry, what’s this?” he asked with (to Harry’s mind at least) an adorable look of confusion on his face.

“That’s a mouse, love,” Harry told him.

Draco was peering at it closely.

“A mouse. Is it transfigured or something?”

“It’s not real, babe. It’s just a bit of equipment that lets me work my computer.”

“Oh!” said Draco. “Well, it was poking me in a very private place. Show me what it does then!”

He stopped kissing Harry (a development Harry could not let go by without a pang of regret), spun himself around and sat his bottom - a still very naked, very pert bottom - on Harry’s lap. He wiggled a bit to make himself comfortable.

Harry was not very comfortable, however. Not any more at least. Those tightish jeans were currently threatening to cut off circulation to some very vital parts of Harry’s anatomy.

“Ulp!” he squeaked.

Draco was no longer paying attention to him though; he was peering at the screen in fascination.

“Oooohh, Harry! That looks really interesting. What is this site, then, and why has it got pictures of you and me on it?”

Harry tried to concentrate on Draco’s question.

“Um, that’s my Live Journal, Draco. I chose the pictures, learnt how to do manips and create icons. That’s my LJ user name scar_head… I tried lots of combinations of my own name, but they were all taken for some reason.”

Draco was still peering intently at the screen.

“Potter,” he said. “I don’t think that I understood one word of that! You’ll have to speak more clearly, explain it to me.”

Harry sighed. Draco was feeling disgruntled; he always called Harry ”Potter” when he was feeling a bit pissed off with him and Harry really didn’t want a row with Draco right now, not when he looked so scrumptious. So he tried to ignore the fact that his jeans were currently so tight his eyes had begun to water. He also tried to pretend that Draco’s backside was not pushing against his cock and that it did not feel so good he thought said cock was likely to burst right through the zip at any minute and bury itself quite happily in Draco’s tight little arse.

It didn’t work very well. Harry had never been good at pretending.

But ignoring, he could do that. He was good at ignoring.

Bit by bit, whilst his lover squirmed and wriggled and poked at the keyboard with his long slim fingers and practiced his mouse skills, he explained the Internet to Draco.

“I want an LJ too,” Draco finally said. “Can you set one up for me Harry?”

So Harry did.

He had no more luck with any combination of Draco’s name than he’d had with his own, though. He knew most of the stories he had read were about Draco and him in various sexual situations but he couldn’t for the life of him understand the fascination. He supposed he was a Harry/Draco fan, although he didn’t mind the odd bit of Draco/Harry! Merlin, some of those stories really turned him on!

But there were some places he would not go. He could understand some of the pairings and, shit, some of those stories were seriously sensual. He even had a secret passion for Snarry, not that he would ever tell Draco that. But the Severus of fanfic was so much sexier than his real life counterpart. He sometimes wondered what Severus would look like if he washed his hair, whitened his teeth and stopped scowling all the time. Maybe then he and Draco could have a threesome?

He shook himself mentally. Thinking like that was not reducing the bulge in his trousers! He concentrated on some of the pairings that really squicked him instead: for example, Hermione and himself? She was like a sister! That was just, well, eeewwww!

Finally, after trying different names for about thirty minutes, time in which Draco got progressively crosser and squirmier, Harry had a brainwave. He smiled to himself and started typing.

“The Ferret? My screen name is ‘the_ferret’?” Draco shouted, infuriated.

“Sorry, hon, but there wasn’t anything else left,” explained Harry. He couldn’t help smirking though. Draco was very sexy when he was just a little bit cross and he usually got very inventive. Since he wasn’t getting any action by teaching Draco to surf the Internet, maybe he could provoke some interest from his lover instead. Draco had started it after all, before he had been sucked into the online world. Harry wondered if he might bring out that rather wicked riding crop again later.

Draco turned and grabbed Harry’s wrists firmly. He was making that little growly noise he did when he was really aroused. Harry was trapped in his seat. The combination of Draco’s weight, the hard cock between his legs, which was thoroughly incapacitating him, and the fact that Draco had pinned his hands above his head against the high back of the chair, meant Harry was effectively helpless. He couldn’t move. He could only groan when Draco claimed his mouth and started kissing it demandingly.

Draco held both Harry’s wrists in one hand now. He was very strong but Harry wasn’t exactly trying to fight him either. Instead he was concentrating on Draco’s other hand - the one currently travelling south, firm insistent fingers plundering where they would.

Then Draco produced his wand. For a brief second Harry wondered where on earth Draco had been keeping it, but then his hands were swiftly bound and stuck firmly to the leather back of the seat.

Draco sat back smirking.

“That’s got you,” he said, narrowing his eyes and licking his lips. “Now, Potter, my love, what am I going to do to you first?”

Harry thought the zip on his jeans was about to explode. He threw his head back as far as he could against the leather back rest and groaned.

Draco’s wicked smile widened.

Brandishing his wand he vanished Harry buttons one at a time, then with slow, deliberate resolve he began to dissolve the fabric of Harry’s shirt.

“Hey, Draco, that’s my fav… umf,” he began but didn’t finish. Draco was kissing him again fiercely. He sat back and put a finger to Harry’s lips.

“You are not to speak,” he commanded imperiously. “If you try again I shall have to gag you.”

Harry shut up. Draco liked to elicit little groans and pleas from Harry but he also liked gagging him and right now Harry didn’t want to be gagged.

Draco continued to dissolve Harry’s shirt.

Then slowly, achingly slowly, he began to run the tip of his wand along the seams of Harry’s jeans and the threads began to dissolve. The seams separated and the fabric fell away from his thighs and vanished leaving him completely exposed to Draco’s attentions.

Draco sat back on the keyboard again.

“That’s better,” he leered with an evil glint in his eyes. “I can see you now. But I fancy sitting down again and I think I need to adjust things. You don’t look nearly hard enough to me.”

Harry thought his lover had lost the plot. He hadn’t been this hard for a long, long time. But Draco was smirking even more widely and then he was lowering himself to his knees. He pushed Harry’s own knees wide apart and whispered yet another sticking charm. This meant Harry’s legs were open wide, pushed against the metal arms of the chair, giving Draco access to whatever part of Harry he wanted.

When Draco started to nibble at Harry’s foreskin, Harry nearly leapt in the air… only he couldn’t because he was firmly stuck to the leather. He groaned loudly instead. Draco chortled again and then really went to work licking and sucking Harry until he was whimpering with need.

Obviously satisfied with his work Draco sat back against the desk and admired Harry’s rock hard prick.

“That’s better,” he said with satisfaction, then proceeded to turn so he faced the computer screen and lowered himself slowly down onto Harry. He had obviously come prepared as he was well slicked and Harry slid into his tight, hot anus without any effort on his part whatsoever.

Harry was beyond aroused. He thought he was probably deeper inside his lover than he had ever been before. Draco’s muscles tightened around the base of Harry’s cock and then the man in his lap began to sway gently from side-to-side and Harry’s brain melted.

At the same time Draco turned his attention back to the computer. “Hmmm, I see what you mean about this strikethrough thing, Harry,” he said, wiggling a little more energetically.

“Guh!” was all Harry could manage.

“I think I might e-mail my stockbroker and see if I have any shares in the relevant companies, whether I might be able to exert some economic pressure.”

Harry had almost been swept away on wave after wave of pleasure. Almost. Somewhere in his fogged brain he realised that Draco knew what e-mail was.

“Draco?” he panted, desperately fighting back a sort of red mist that was threatening to swamp his vision. “How much do you know about the Internet?”

Draco stiffened. He stopped writhing on Harry’s cock for a moment. Harry could almost see him thinking.

Finally he lay back against Harry. The silky smooth skin of his back pressing into Harry’s chest, the soft blond hair tickling his cheek.

“Hermione showed me,” Draco confessed. “You were always on the computer so I went and asked her about it. She taught me what to do. She doesn’t read slash though.”

“No, I’ll bet!” Harry murmured, the thought of Hermione reading slash fiction was just not a feasible one.

“No, she reads het Buffy the Vampire Slayer, oh and SG-1; she has a thing for some guy called Teal’c.”

Harry gulped. “Too much information, Draco!”

Suddenly feeling his hands freed, Harry wrapped his arms around his lover and held him close.

“I wanted to spend more time with you, Harry. That’s all,” Draco said sadly. “You were always on the Internet; you never seemed to have time for me any more.”

Harry felt a wave of guilt. “I’m sorry, love,” he murmured, his head resting on Draco’s shoulder. “Have I been neglecting you?”
Draco didn’t say anything… he just shrugged.

“I am so sorry! I promise you I won’t let it happen again. I’ll teach you all that you want to know.”

He started to move slowly, still deep inside Draco, still rock hard. This time the lust which had overwhelmed him was tempered with the love he felt for his blond boyfriend.

Draco groaned and Harry found his hand moving down to cup Draco’s genitals. Gently he began to stroke his lover. Draco moaned softly as the muscles in his passage tightened around Harry’s cock and Draco started to writhe again. This time Harry could not control it. He let the red mist dominate his vision, let the roaring in his ears deafen him. As the thrusting and rocking became faster and more erratic the chair reclined on its base tipping slightly backwards while remaining perfectly stable. In a final burst of energy they came together shouting their completion.

A little later, when the afterglow and the cuddling had quietened, Draco said, “I am going to e-mail my broker now, Harry.”

Harry cast Scourgify to make them more comfortable and skooshed the chair closer so Draco could reach the keyboard. He kept his arms wrapped around the young man’s waist, though, and again laid his chin on his boyfriend’s shoulder. He watched Draco call up his e-mail provider and send off a flurry of e-mails. His fingers flew across the keys; he really was amazingly proficient, but that was Draco all over, wasn’t it? He was good at things. Harry snickered inwardly, when he was good, he was VERY good!

Harry squeezed tighter and then kissed Draco’s shoulder.

“It looks to me like you really know your way around technology,” Harry smiled, kissing Draco gently again, this time at the base of his neck.

“Well, I know a bit,” admitted Draco, twisting round to look at him. “I like the Internet; I think a Slytherin probably invented it. It’s a perfect place for Slytherins: you can have a fake identity, read lots of porn, see yummy pictures… what more could a boy want? You could teach me more, though!” He grinned and kissed Harry again slowly and lovingly and for a while, at least, the Internet was forgotten.

By the next day Six Apart had apologised and started un-deleting journals. Harry thought the several thousand people who had e-mailed and called the admin had helped; he also thought all the people who had friended fandom_counts had probably played their part, too. But he couldn’t help thinking about Draco’s e-mails to all his business interests; they must have helped quite a little bit also. “Hit ‘em in the pocket, where it hurts the most!” Anyway, that was Draco’s philosophy… and it did seem to work.

He found a rather nice icon to decorate Draco’s journal and spent several hours with Draco on his lap whilst they read stories and uploaded pictures together. The chair was plenty big enough for them both, after all, and they never did get around to replacing it.

*Tim Berners-Lee is the man often credited with inventing the Internet and he gave his idea away. Draco reckons he was probably a Gryffindor.